Traumatic Brain Injury Relatives Recovery – Time Table Video – Coventry Cathedral “Wonder” Auschwitz-Birkenau; “Lasting Stones” Painting
January 25, 2020
Art Journal Post January 2020 by Jenny Meehan
jenny meehan painting lyrical abstract floral promised land/break out painting
Needing some glimpses of colour at the moment, because it is a somewhat grey January day today! Above a painting which sold a few years back.
spring will come digital image jenny meehan ©jenny meehan
And this, because Spring Will Come! ©jenny meehan
Time Table
At the end of last year I was experimenting with making short video clips, just for a change. My very short piece “Time Table” was selected for screening at an event in Manchester. Info below:
screening shown on 3rd December 2019 at STRETCH – Reel Time event. Held at Mirabel Studios 14 -20 Mirabel Street Manchester M31PJ
My statement:
“As an artist, writer, and home-maker, I manage my time by working in a completely piecemeal, and often spontaneous, way. I integrate my creative practice within my domestic life and utilise the flexibility inherent in this way of life. I used my work space, (AKA kitchen) as the setting for the film “Time Table”. I often produce work on my kitchen table is the object in the room which best represents the interrelationship between my artistic work and the other work I’m involved in.
Both forms of work are mostly unpaid, and it becomes a challenge to maintain a sense of self and a sense of value in our capitalist society which measures value by status and money.
The planner in the film has blank pages but rapid movement, because in both dimensions of my work sphere; the domestic and the artistic; I’m extremely busy. However, I find the reality of my work is non existent in many people’s perceptions; it’s blank; because they do not recognise what I do as being work. In our culture activities which take place in the domestic sphere are often side-lined and artistic creation is at risk as being thought as being a “free time” pursuit. I frequently get asked “What do you do all day?”
In reality, “work” reflects more to purpose and perception, than a context.
Like the table, the water in the film is a crossover subject too; from the water in the kettle (tea for a break time), the repetition and rhythm of a dripping tap (associated with labour and maybe monotony) and the water of a swimming pool (swimming being a “free time” activity for me). The pool is also a place for reflection: interestingly contemplative space for an artist swiftly re-orientates itself into a place of purpose for a reflective art practitioner.”
Jenny Meehan is a London based artist working with painting, writing, digital media and contemplative practices.
I don’t have much to add to the text I submitted. An interesting development was that I was able to finance just one month of studio space last November, and this made an interesting contrast to my usual working routine. I found that having the more clearly defined boundaries between my different roles does make things much easier in some ways, so I think in terms of the tangible nature of time…how it is seen, and recognised, or not seen and invisible, having a physical space matters a great deal for an artist, not only in terms of practical matters but also in terms of being a helpful contribution to a stronger sense of self/self-definition. I have found it makes a huge difference on how other people recognise my time as an artist…hence the activities which I carry out within that time/space… I know they matter, but its much easier for other people, particularly those who are not creatives, to recognise that my work is indeed not a sideline/hobby!
In other ways having a physical dedicated space has been restrictive, which I did not expect. There is a kind of pressure because the time has boundaries, I found that there is this need to fill it in a way which I am normally free of. So not having a dedicated physical space, rather surprisingly, can be a liberty, which I didn’t expect at all. However, as you can see from my work Time Table, there is a big interplay between the blank, empty space in the diary, and the full physical space. I need to leave a lot of piles of domestic clutter around me, because of the need to redirect my energy and time into creating art works! Definitely a balancing act!
The human being in Time Table is actually my daughter, though she is playing me! So credit to Charis Meehan for playing the part so well!
Time Table is now also on You Tube:
Father Richard Rohr
Always thought provoking, I’m grateful for this man’s work. There’s a lot of videos on YouTube from the Centre for Action and Contemplation.
When I think of Capitalism I can’t disconnect the shocking inequality for women which is so much a feature of it. I guess I’ve touched on that a bit in the Timetable video in terms of the effect it can easily have on women’s self esteem. I think women’s unpaid labour being excluded from public awareness does everyone a disservice. And different models of society are no less guilty of making domestic work invisible… I certainly need to do a lot more reading on the subject.
Capitalist Economy and Gift Economy by Father Richard Rohr
Until the 2020 pandemic, Father Richard Rohr regularly gave homilies at his local parish. Delivered in a conversational style, these 10- to 15-minute sermons are part of the Mass at Holy Family Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Recorded Sunday, September 1, 2019.
The Center for Action and Contemplation’s (CAC) podcast network serves as a gateway to the contemplative path. In partnership with Richard Rohr and our core faculty, our podcast series are designed to provide spiritual wisdom and guidance in support of inner and outer transformation. Help us co-create a world where everyone and everything belongs.
CENTER FOR ACTION AND CONTEMPLATION
The Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) is an educational nonprofit introducing seekers to the contemplative Christian path of transformation. Founded by Richard Rohr in 1987, our programs and resources are designed to help deepen prayer practice and strengthen compassionate engagement in the world.
Coventry Cathedral
There was a very interesting “Open Call” for the commissioning of new vestments and a banner for Coventry Cathedral before Christmas, but the practicalities of it didn’t seem realistic to me in terms of financial recompense. I think if I was both a designer and maker of banners and vestments then it wouldn’t be such an issue, but for someone like me, who is a designer more than a maker (well, of vestments and banners, at least!) the making would need to be contracted out to someone else, with massive financial implications…at least, if it was to be done to a high professional standard, for sure. The actual banner design has significant value, and the copyright matter wasn’t touched on at all.
I did contact the relevant person and put my view/perspective forward, but haven’t heard anything back. (not surprising!) The value of the actual design, and subsequent images of it, is very important, as is the project management, (time wise) and I had an excellent idea to explore with it, but I simply cannot afford to spend hours on something which is basically speculative. It’s certainly speculative if I wouldn’t consider carrying out the project due to insufficient funds if I was fortunate enough to be selected, so I have just left it.
It is often quite a problem with design competitions and copyright. If the copyright of the banner design image had to be assigned, and that was part of the arrangement, then it needs to be clearly stated. I personally don’t assign copyrights ever, and so to need to do so would also be a reason not to enter such a competition. It is very important to include copyright information in design briefs. I always retain copyright for my art and design and for it to be used there would need to be a suitable licence in place. The value of such of licence agreement, needs to be factored in when establishing the value of the artist’s work, and this affects what can be considered a realistic payment in financial terms.
There is also the problem of requests for designs being made and then, though not selected, substantial elements being used with very slight variations. I’m not suggesting this would be the case in this instance, but I have heard of situations where an artist/design call out is made, design work is speculatively produced and shared, rejected, and then layer appears in a slightly adapted version but which shows very substantial similarities to rejected submissions. The main thing is, copyright matters need to be clear.
Coventry Cathedral
Some comfort to me, bearing in mind the above, was that I was able to offer an animation for showing at Coventry Cathedral on my birthday! This did make me most happy, and it was fortunate that I had been experimenting with animation a little at the end of last year. I had something emergent conceptually and the Open Call at Coventry Cathedral for one of their events on New Year’s Eve was very timely, as it gave me the additional impetus to continue working on something which I had started. Some things are just providential, I have decided. Timing is often everything. The Open Call at Coventry Cathedral was perfect timing and I worked obsessively on producing the work which was a duo of a poem and also the animation.
Both the poem in written form and as word and image animation are titled: “Wonder”. The poem is below.
Wonder
Both soft and clear
Beautiful and broken
Light is transformation
Colouring the soul
Endless pattern
Radiating
Ever differing
Yet completely
Whole
by Jenny Meehan 2019
The version shown for the event was a silent video of word and image. 2.26 duration, in a square aspect ratio. No punctuation. The version I decided to call the final version is here:
It’s a better pace, as its slower.
Wonder was selected to be shown as part of the Open Projections: Digital Art Exhibition NYE@Coventry Cathedral on 31st December 2019.
Text from the Artist’s Call Out:
“Open Projections is a series of digital and moving image projection exhibitions hosted by Coventry Cathedral. The series is hosted by guest curators and arts organisations. Art on show features digital and photographic work created by local, national and international artists. For the latest edition of Open Projections, on New Year’s Eve, We will be projecting onto the ceiling of Coventry Cathedral, using the design of the roof as a screen for each work. We will be inviting guests to lay on the floor and stare upwards (Don’t worry, bean bags and underfloor heating provided).
The brief is for this edition of Open Projections is ‘Spectacle’A visually striking performance or display, or An event or scene regarded in terms of its visual impact.
We are interested in showing work which explores the idea of spectacle and a visually stimulating display inside the cathedral. We have intentionally made the brief for this exhibition open to interpretation as we want to embrace the Cathedral’s space for New Year’s Eve. “
Coventry Cathedral became a major tourist attraction as soon as it was opened in 1962. It is a very interesting building, and the ruins of the old Coventry Cathedral are also beautiful.
The Blitz of 1940 saw Coventry city centre devastated by enemy bombing and, today, only the shell of the old cathedral still stands.
A new cathedral was built on the site of the ruins and the two stand side by side providing a stark but beautiful reminder of the city’s tragic history and inspiring resilience. The new cathedral would be a sign of faith and hope for the future, and the decision led to the cathedral’s Ministry of Peace and Reconciliation, which has provided spiritual and practical support in areas of conflict throughout the world.
It’s a very inspiring place and I was delighted to have some of my work there, even though briefly. It’s just the kind of place I like my work to be enjoyed in!
Traumatic Brain Injury
I like using my own poetry with my visual work because it suggests what the visual expression is about but does not dictate precisely to the person responding to it: their interpretation is valued by implication because the meaning is not made explicit. Poetry is an abstracted form of communication and often leaves many gaps or blanks in our understanding; these unfilled areas are just as valuable and are as much a part of the expression as what is written. It is like this in life I think: sometimes there are no words to say; a silence can speak volumes; it can allow understanding, and communicate a depth of feeling not possible with words.
I write poetry from time to time, alongside other types of writing. I wrote a lot of poetry between the years of 2008 and 2010, when I was having real struggles coming to terms with the changes in a close relative which they experienced as a result of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). Because it was such a difficult time, and emotionally and mentally I was quite literally “all over the place” writing poetry was extremely helpful as it enabled me to attempt (attempt!) to put into words very difficult and conflicting emotions. At least with poems, the words which couldn’t be written (and couldn’t even have any presence), still existed and were there, invisible and not logically or rationally understood, but emotively just there…in their absence. That’s how it felt. The unsaid didn’t have to be taboo.
That sound’s a bit odd, I think but what I mean is, there was so much for me for which there were no words, and which there could never be any words sufficient to express. That’s how it felt. The horror and the complete senselessness, the total insanity, that anyone could do what they did to my relative, was simply beyond comprehension. His head injury was the result of a violent assault. And human minds like things neatly packaged in understanding. We like to have things contained in knowledge and have things which we can hold onto. It’s not an easy experience to describe.
I experienced much intense stress myself, with the worst period being from around 2008 to 2011. This was partly as a result of my family member’s brain injury, though other factors played into that period in my life. My experience was, I think, accentuated because I had many early life adverse childhood experiences, and the experience of having the one relationship which previously brought some sense of sanity into my early years of life, torn apart and altered by such an injury, was beyond my own capacity to cope with.
Well, I did carry on with life, thankfully, and there were many helpful practical reasons which made life worth living, even if it seemed overwhelming and I had a lot of fear and pain to contend with. A big part of the positive move forward was to cease attempting to cope with the pain by self-medicating with alcohol and also to start a process of healing from the trauma through psychotherapy. It really doesn’t help when some senseless violence is the cause of your relatives TBI. It added another layer of trauma to the situation, because having experienced in earlier life myself various forms of violence, it simply feels like one thing too much. I think the total conviction that something is too much to bear pretty much sums thing up quite succinctly.
I was fortunate to access psychoanalytic psychotherapy from 2011 onwards, and this was much needed and rather overdue. I’m immensely grateful for the help and support I have received, and continue to receive, from various people around me. I’m still working through a lot. That’s the way life goes; It seems to come in waves! Things sometimes come up which plunge you into a difficult place, but there’s no doubt that having faith in a compassionate Creator Godde, having relationships and connections with others, having creativity and the means to express so much both in words and images; all these things work for good and prove healing and restorative in many ways. I have found yoga, drumming, and contemplative spirituality, mindfulness, prayer and enjoyment of the natural world all amazingly useful.
Having my life orientated, ultimately, towards Christ, (for my faith tradition is Christian) and trying to walk in the ways Christ taught, is for me the way forward. The recovery road is endless, because learning and changing are endless and we are never “all sorted”. It would be unwise not to embrace our brokenness. However, even when at times things are hard, that’s OK, for seeking truth and understanding, making healthy connections and aiming to live in love in the best way we can, is liberating (certainly is so far!) and that’s all good.
Sometimes I think I have had a silly amount of trauma in my life, but it’s not a competition, this stress and suffering matter. I recognise that often people don’t want to, or can’t, reveal their own suffering and trauma to others, but in reality it’s there and basically, though it seems very obvious sometimes due to dramatic life events, often it’s not obvious but still runs deep, none the less. We just cannot judge what people go through and don’t go through. Often it’s mostly unseen.
I’m glad I can touch on some of mine a bit from time to time. I do this because I am able to articulate it and it’s helpful to me to do so sometimes. I have been surprised at what I have learnt through my experiences of being a relative of a person with a traumatic brain injury. I would never have appreciated previously how much and to what extent one person’s injury can also affect another person. There is a corporate damage which happens when one person is hurt, and often the relatives and others around a person with a traumatic brain injury need help and support in a way which is easy to under appreciate. Survivor’s guilt is complicated.
I found the charity Headway exceptionally helpful to me. Getting good, helpful, informed information and getting educated about certain things can help one retain ones own sanity at difficult times, because it can be very isolating and it’s totally common to feel completely alone.
I found the following a very heartening read:
https://www.baat.org/About-BAAT/Blog/124/Life-After-Brain-Injury-The-Role-of-Art-in-Rehabilitation
I think for myself, (though I haven’t previously put the two together), that my increased involvement in visual arts and writing which started to emerge initially from around 2005, may well have begun as a helpful coping mechanism. I know it was the case a bit later on; It was immensely beneficial for me; the physicality of it, the contact with materials, and the way it helped me to be in the present moment.
My earlier life aspirations of being an artist were something I had left behind years back; I wasn’t in a position to put my energies into the visual arts direction in the first half of my life. That’s not a bad thing. I think it was good to have the maturity I had later on. It’s important to have a sense of direction as a fine artist. It can’t come from anywhere but yourself. It means facing yourself, and that’s not an easy thing to do.
Below a bit of blossom. Hopefully soon I will see some in Chessington and enjoy the colour and scent. Time spent looking at nature is very well spent. I use my photography as a form of meditation, and the photographs are simply evidence of the process. I took plenty of images as I looked at the blossom for a long time!
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I worked more with some of them later but I haven’t decided how I want to use them as yet.
Knee Replacement Surgery
As you can see from a couple of the pages of this Artist’s Journal/Blog which are titled “The Very Patient Knee Replacement Story by Jenny Meehan” I enjoy writing at length! My knee replacement surgery in 2017 at South West London Orthopaedic Centre, (SWLEOC) , was a very significant life event for me. I had become increasingly disabled, and the experience both before, during and after the knee replacement surgery inspired me to write my story, or at least that chapter of it, for other people to read. I hoped that it might prove informative and helpful.
My knee was in a very bad state and the recovery was hard work, but well worth it. I now enjoy walking and being able to live my life. I’m able to carry on my artistic and creative activities much more easily than I had done for the years running up to the knee replacement surgery. The enforced rest was very good for me. It was hard work recovering in many respects, but it also forced me to reflect on many things, and writing about the experience was something I found helpful in the recovery process. It became a focus for my mind, which is very important, because after a major surgery your whole body and mind and emotions are affected, and it’s vital to have focus on your recovery, yes, but also on things apart from it. It can be a disorientating experience to be flung out of your usual routine into a completely new one.
Well, the knee is still going strong. I did fall on it rather hard on the way home from yoga one day but it’s still working so no worries. I am just loving being fully mobile and being able to walk around without any restriction at all. If I ever get to the point of needing a knee replacement revision surgery, I guess things may well be quite different in a few years time.
If you are in need of a knee replacement it is really important to be well prepared for how it can impact your life. It is a surgery which requires a lot of work from the patient afterwards to really maximise the potential positive effects. Do take a look at my knee replacement recovery pages if you are interested in gaining a patient’s perspective and experience of knee replacement surgery in the UK. It is going to be different for everyone, but I found it helpful reading around a bit beforehand, as it helped me to appreciate the importance of the rehabilitation process afterwards, and also to not be completely shocked by the challenges which normally follow a TKR.
I’m just grateful I can walk around. I will never take that for granted again! I’m my knee replacement story is now on the internet so it’s nice to know it might prove useful to people, even if it is in rather a massive textual glob!
January 2020 marks the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau.
“In commemoration of this major anniversary, London Borough of Richmond Upon Thames, working with the Landmark Arts Centre, will be showcasing artwork, poetry and prose submitted by schools, community groups and individuals from across the borough. This exhibition will be a moving commemoration of the Holocaust and, by featuring work from many different areas of our community, a fitting reflection on the national theme for the 2020 Holocaust Memorial Day: Stand Together.”
Image above is “Lasting Stones” an acrylic painting by Jenny Meehan ©jenny meehan
The painting is part of my painting-poem piece; the poem being titled “Tiny Bones”
So glad to be part of this exhibition. Such terrible genocides which have happened, and still happen, have been something I have touched on in my artwork before. The senseless violence and hatred which happens in our world demands awareness and I think it’s very important never to forget how extreme things can get, if allowed and encouraged.
https://www.thejc.com/comment/comment/the-importance-of-remembering-the-holocaust-1.59585
Quoted from above:
“Why is it so important that we remember the Holocaust and how can we make sure future generations never forget?
The Holocaust is a contemporary issue. It cannot, and should not, be an event consigned to history.
Paradoxically, the reasons for this lie in its ancient roots. The Holocaust is not bound by a few years in the mid-20th century; instead, it stretches back, past the parameters of the modern era, into the medieval age and beyond to the inception of antisemitism.
Would the Holocaust have been possible without the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? Without Dreyfus? Without the Spanish Inquisition? Antisemitism, discrimination against Jews of all walks of life, was not a new concept in 1933, but was widespread and prevalent in many countries. It is therefore incorrect to let the Holocaust be consigned to the period of the Third Reich; the Nazi regime manipulated and amplified the latent prejudices of its citizens. It did not create them.
This makes the Holocaust a contemporary issue because it demonstrates the atmosphere in which genocide can take place. How many people pertain to prejudices which are unfounded and illogical, but which are unconsciously adhered to? These beliefs survive both because they are socially acceptable and because they remain unchallenged.
There remains in our society a degree of antisemitism, but furthermore levels of xenophobia, Islamophobia, a fear of the travelling community, of black and Asian communities. Indeed a recent survey has shown these prejudices to be on the rise.
It is therefore important to remember the Holocaust because it is an example of how these trends could evolve into something far more threatening.”
It is vital to remember the Holocaust. Vital.
Here is a good site on genocide today: https://www.genocidewatch.com/
My own mother, a Catholic, was born in Villingen in Germany, but immigrated with her mother to Switzerland just before the Second World War. Unfortunately she is long dead now, so I cannot ask her questions about it, and she was only a few years old, but I understand that Catholics were also in the ranks of the persecuted, which I had not realised until recently. I will never know why they left Villingen, it may not have been related to any persecution, but somehow, for me, with so little factual knowledge about my own history, due to very little being said when it could be said, the possibility remains. I do know that the rise of Hitler to power caused many people to leave Villingen, so for whatever particular reasons, I can see that it was a wise move on the part of my Granny.
Well, that’s it, for this part of my Artist’s Journal. It has been hard to get around to writing it… Rather late in the month for it to come out. However I find the process of writing it helpful.
Image above: Road to Recovery ©jenny meehan Early oil painting by Jenny Meehan
Jenny Meehan – General Information
My original artwork has two main strands: Lyrical Abstraction, painterly, fluid, with a lot of focus on light, how it bounces off the surface, textures and finishes, and Geometric Abstraction (created through digital imaging software) in which I focus on flat areas of smooth, solid, and translucent colour; ideally intended to be printed on even, matt or semi-mat surfaces.
While I’m experimenting with the overlap between the two, and make it my practice to regularly try out new mediums, in order to keep my artwork fresh and steadily evolving, identifying the strands in this way is helpful for clarity. I use writing and poetry in my art working and now prefer to use sol-silica paint over acrylics or oils, though I am still known to dabble in many different types of paint, due to their particular material and visual qualities!
My artwork is particularly suitable for themes of: faith, religion, philosophy, Christian, church, all faith traditions, inter-faith, spirituality, the subconscious, psychoanalytic themes, mindfulness, contemplative practices, healing, health, both physical and mental, trauma recovery, metaphysical and psychological focused writings, the devotional life, and many other subjects.
All my images are licensable and this is arranged through the Designer and Artists’ Copyright Socitety (DACS). If you wish to use my artwork, please contact me in the first instance. My image licensing fees are set by me, so while using the industry standard as a guide, I have some flexibility.
Alongside my mainly lyrical abstract paintings, there is another important strand in my work which includes more of a narrative. Well, some kind of narrative. Through my writing, and my participation in ongoing psychotherapy, I draw on my subconscious. It’s this process of self reflection, examination, and other contemplative practices which are rooted in my own faith tradition as a Christian, alongside a good dose of yoga and West African drumming, which have created an exciting way ahead for my work with visual art. I think it’s the relationship between my writing and visual work, particularly through poetry, which helps determine the direction in my art practice.
Jenny Meehan - Art Journal 